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Shots of Love

Vodka dipped fantasies
Become whiskey drenched realities.
And words blurred and
Vision slurred
I stumble GRACEFULLY into thee…
Into thee…
Into the unknown.
Tipsy as ever you tip me
And I topple
then you
come crashing down
beside me
Then you stay there
And I stay here as
the world begins to spin
I let you in
And we danced this
Drunken waltz
with only our pulses
To keep time
The longer we danced,
The faster it got.
Once a waltz now a foxtrot.
It builds to a fine crescendo
and leaves silence in its wake.

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I’m not interested

I understand that as an international student I need to dive into the culture of my host nation but this is my Junior year and though I believe in trying everything once, somethings are better not repeated. There are just some things that I’m not interested in. Now I sound like a terrible person, so let me explain.

It is hard to picture a house in Jamaica without at least one fruit tree in the back or even front yard. You wake up one morning and you want a mango, no problem, head outside and pick one . If your tree isn’t in season and you are on good enough terms with your neighbour ask for one. Sometimes you won’t even have to ask because your neighbour’s tree might be so full that they’ve just about had it with mangoes and have started gifting you the glorious fruit by the dozen.

This being said, I cannot appreciate the importance placed on going apple picking. Anyways, in the spirit of new experiences I went and tried it. I’ve filed this experience in the section of things you try once. Not to say I didn’t have a good time. I quite enjoyed the drive to the apple farm but as I picked my five apples I got no gratification. It wasn’t all bad though. I learnt that most apple farms have little shops that have apple cider and doughnuts. Fresh doughnuts! Cider and doughnuts is currently my favourite American pastime.  I had what had to be the best doughnut of my life when I went apple picking so maybe in the future, I’ll buy doughnuts and eat them in the car while everyone goes hunting for Granny Smith.

This was one of those things that left me…

#KultureShocked

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The Relationship Struggle

The running joke of this week is that it is bizarre that myself and neither of my two older cousins are in a relationship. My aunt went as far as to say she’s getting us all gift cards for eHarmony for Christmas. Does eHarmony even have gift cards? I think my aunt was only 20% joking though…. maybe even less.

She’s even gotten my mom in on the conversation. On our weekly call the topic came up and mommy said she told my aunt it was their fault as parents for making us too comfortable. She has a point. I consider myself a happy person. I’m hopelessly optimistic. I’m not always happy, sometimes I overthink myself into a bout of sadness, particularly around that time of the month. Who doesn’t? I have a great support team who I can go to if there is something that bothers me. Most importantly, they aren’t afraid to tell me to get over myself. I am in no way shape or form short of love.

Consequently, I feel no push to go looking for love elsewhere. I’ve never had a boyfriend but I don’t really think I’m missing out on much other than heartache. Granted there is this growing curiosity to see if I’d make a good girlfriend or what the whole experience would be like. This curiosity isn’t strong enough for me to lower my standards and jump on the first smooth talking man to come my way.

I don’t think my standards are that high to begin with. My list of requirements isn’t really that long and they are by no means unattainable. My standards can be grouped in two subcategories: the must-haves and the if-he-doesn’t-have-it-then- it’s-fine-but-it-would-be-cool-if-he-did. My two must-haves are that he be someone who respects me and someone who will pick my brain. The would-be-cool requirements are:

  1. Hairy musician- Don’t judge me okay; I like a guy with hair. Beard, ponytail, locs- I’m not partial and musicians are just cool people in general. Most of my friends are hairy musicians so that might have something to do with it. This may just be a phase but come on, have you seen Bob Marley? I feel like if he is a musician, he’ll understand the role music plays in my life.
  2. Tall- I stand at 5’4″, it’s not very hard to be taller than me
  3. Doesn’t take life too seriously- I’m pretty easy going and I like being spontaneous. I’d like to have someone who compliments that. Then again I think he could learn to do this by association.

See, all very attainable! Not very hard. So until he comes my way, I’m going to sit back, relax and enjoy my cup of tea. No eHarmony gift card required. Seriously though, do they offer gift cards? Leave the answer or even your thoughts in the comments below! I’d love to know what you think!

#KultureShocked

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People are mean

I sat at work today listening to my co-worker rant with some other employee over the phone about how the student worker would not leave her alone . She talked about how the student worker made a mountain of a molehill. I recalled the encounter that happened just minutes before and saw nothing wrong with what the student worker did. The student was just following protocol and asking questions to cover her ass. The young lady had no attitude and seemed a little timid.

Being a student worker myself, I wondered how many people had similar discussions after I left their offices. My thoughts soon trailed to wondering why some people were so mean. I couldn’t find an answer besides people are mean because they are. We’re mean to get laughs, to feel better about ourselves or because someone was mean to us so we feel the need to be mean to someone weaker than ourselves to get back at the world. How far is too far?

Times are changing. People are becoming more opportunistic and individualistic. It only makes sense that people are getting meaner. Then we wonder why crime levels  or the number of school shootings are increasing. Who am I to say? Maybe they aren’t related at all. Maybe people aren’t mean at all and I’m being too thin skinned. If that is the case, I’m genuinely worried about the future.

#KultureShocked

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It’s a learning process

This is by far my busiest semester yet. I don’t feel as though I’ve bitten off more than I can chew but I have always been a slow eater (both literally and figuratively :p) ). I’ve certainly learnt to manage my time well particularly through forward thinking. I used to live from day to day rolling with the waves as they came but that wouldn’t work this year. Not at all. I’d be crushed by the waves before I knew what hit me. Now I look ahead and my mind is always racing with ideas. In other words, I’ve learnt to tread water and friends and family have become by support system when my arms and legs are weary or my cheerleaders when I feel like surrendering to the rough waters.

Anywho, the whole reason I started this post was not to say how busy I am. I’ve been overthinking, underthinking and maybe even a little stressed these last few weeks. I’ve experienced an array of emotions and feel myself slowly losing my handle on things.  Today I sat at work mentally and physically exhausted. I had nothing to think about or plan and I felt out of place. I realised I’d gotten so used to the noise in my head that when, for once there was silence, I missed the roar of the ocean. I don’t think that’s healthy. Then I thought,  if only I had a creative avenue to express my thoughts or rant about my concerns without feeling judged… Hmmm. I came to the conclusion that I need to get the thoughts out of my head. Essentially, I need to blog before I drive myself mad.

#Kultureshocked