Planes, Tarmac & Automobiles Pt. 3

Welcome back! In case you’re lost, check out part 2 here!

We got back to the gate and as we deplaned the gate agent told us the flight was not canceled and that they were trying to find us a new crew. She respectfully asked us all to be seated and said she would give us an update as soon as she heard back from the control tower.

She pulled over a cart of water and food boxes. I took one of each. The box contained some salami slice thing, craisins, some questionable looking hummus, cookies and wheat thins. I ate the salami slice with the Wheat Thins to keep my hanger in check. I sat there for an hour before the gate agent came up and said:

The flight has not been canceled, but I heard there were some of you interested in driving to Florida instead. I would like for those persons to come and collect their luggage.

By now mah get weh inna some Craisins and she chimes in over the intercom with:

We have some alternate flights to West Palm Beach if anyone is interested, please come and see me.

Now I’m wondering how she over deh a announce alternate flight and this one nuh cancel. Sumn neva add up. I washed down the Craisins wid likkl water and marched up to the counter ongle fi hear seh the flight canceled. She claim seh she announce it but none of the people sitting down heard. She directed me towards customer service so I could see my options.

Fam, I walked to customer service and joined a line that was longer than my whole existence on earth. Mi seriously didda consider buying 3 inna cashpot becaus’n seh I spent 3 hours on the plane, deplaned, spent another 3 hours on the plane, deplaned again, my phone was on 3% and then I spent another 3 hours in line at customer service. THREE. HOURS. IN. LINE.

While in line I found out that 400 flights had been canceled and I was shook. Friends, it snowed all of 10 minutes and big-big Hartsfield- Jackson came to a screeching halt.

I finally walked up to the counter and ask when was the soonest they could get me on a flight to Ft. Lauderdale.

Attendant: I can put you on a stand-by list for a flight scheduled to leave tomorrow at 9am

Me: How many of the people before me did you put on stand-by

Attendant: *Silence*

Me: What are my chances of actually leaving on that flight

Attendant: *Shakes head*

Me: What’s my other option?

Attendant: The soonest non-stand-by flight leaves on Sunday


By now I’m all types of stressed, tired, hungry, and annoyed. So I start crying, at least I think I was crying, to this day I’m not sure. What I think happened is that I’m so unused to crying it’s like my body forgot how to do it so, a single tear escaped from my left eye and the little bugger decided to fall in my eye. My eye was like, what is this foreign substance? So it started burning like hell and my body went into shock or something and didn’t know how to respond. I basically stopped crying after that first tear but my eye just kept burning so my left eye just kept tearing up.

Me: Listen, I just want to get to Jamaica, what are my options?

Attendant: You’d have to buy a new ticket

Me: Okay, how much is the soonest flight to Kingston?

Attendant: $700.

Me: Let’s not do that. What else you have? I need something that’s $500 or less.

Attendant: I don’t have that, well actually let me check flights to Montego Bay! Alright, I have one to Montego Bay for $499.

Me: Yes!

So I whipped out the emergency credit card. I’d explain to mommy and daddy once I found a spot to charge my phone. I paid for my ticket, asked for a blanket.

Now that I was going home for real by body finally started to relax. Can I be real with you guys for a minute? I think we’re at that level now. See, I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables so I’m really regular. Like two times a day regular. Well, I left Greensboro at 5am on Friday morning and it was now 10pm on Friday night. Stress was no longer an issue so… I needed to go!

Let’s stop there. Tune in next time for more adventures at the airport!

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