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Use Your Words

I’m finding in my old age (says the 21 year old) that I’m becoming increasingly better at holding conversations. A great conversation skill is being able to state your point, defend it, acknowledge that people have different opinions and respect opposing opinions.

I like a good debate. It keeps me on my toes and provides great mental exercise.
Picture for a moment a game of tennis. It would be a boring if your opponent refused to serve the ball because they didn’t feel like playing. Imagine them purposefully wacking the ball into the net to cut the game short. What if they deliberately hit the ball outside of the lines so you win?

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Annoyed? Well, it’s the same way with a conversation. Stop changing the topic by saying you don’t want to argue. Don’t stop in the middle or agree with the other person just because you want the conversation to end. A disagreement is not an argument. How is your conversation partner supposed to know what you’re thinking if you keep quiet?

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One of the things wrong with the world is that we don’t say what we want to say for the  sake of peace and sanity. What we don’t realise is that when we bottle these things up they slowly eat away at us and that is what we should be avoiding .

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom, Always say what’s on your mind, and don’t beat around the bush #StopBushAbuse2017.

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How I Became a Man Stealer

Kids can be so cruel! I was reflecting on my childhood years the other day and one experience stood out in my memories.

Every summer my parents sent me to some summer camp or the other to keep me occupied for a few hours in the day. When I was seven they sent me to Achiever’s Summer Camp. My first day there I realised two students from my school, Boy and Girl, were there as well. I knew no one else. Well, my seven year old self was incredibly shy so I clung to those two people until the instructor assigned seats and separated us.

We were eventually reunited and I continued talking to Boy, who was one of my best friends at school. During the lunch break, I tried as hard as I could to make friends, but no one would talk to me and I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t too bothered because I still had Boy and Girl, but unfortunately,  they only stayed for the first two weeks of the four week program. Fake friends!

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The third week I was alone and the other kids still would not talk to me. I was eventually informed that when the teacher separated Boy, Girl and I on the first day, Evil Girl (this is the actual name on her birth certificate) declared that Boy was her boyfriend. When Boy and I were reunited, she came to the conclusion that I had stolen him from her. She then made it her life’s mission to tell all the other children in our class not to speak with me because I was a boyfriend stealer.

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Looking back, I’m curious as to what an 8 year old knew about boyfriend stealing. I know what you’re saying, maybe she was joking. Right? I can assure you she was not. Four years later our paths crossed again and I kid you not, she still called me a boyfriend stealer.

This was definitely one of the strangest experiences on my life. In case you are wondering,  I am not a boyfriend stealer!

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Casual Sex

I’m a firm believer that everyone has a right to do whatever they want to with their body. If you want to die a virgin, save yourself for marriage, participate in polygamy that is up to you to decide and no one has any right to tell you to do otherwise.

Personally, I do not think I was made for casual sex. I’m not sure if five years from now my opinion will change. However, I am currently of the belief that there is more to life than just sex. I refuse to think that my purpose in life is to chauffeur one organ around the world after receiving a call at 1 am. Then after an hour long rain dance, I, a mere chaperon will have to clean my ward and take her home where she can rest and rejuvenate until she is summoned once more by some lonely soul at an ungodly hour in the morning .

What I’m trying to say is I need mental, emotional and spiritual stimulation in this life. If physical stimulation is all this life has to offer I might as well just off myself right here right now. I find that whenever I say this, I get looked at like I have three heads. Are my choices the minority? Am I being too naive? Has this always been the case or was I born a decade or two too late?

I’m genuinely curious, what do you think?

#KultureShocked.

 

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He Called Me Ma’am

It’s been too long! I’m taking the GRE tomorrow and figured I shouldn’t do anything too work intensive the night before. Heaven knows I’ve missed writing. It’s not as though I didn’t have anything to write about. I just never had the time. I keep trying to tell myself that there are 24 hours in day; no more and no less. So if I want to do something, I’m going to have to fit it in somehow. At any rate that is not what this post is meant to be about….


 

Today I was walking behind a young man and I may or may not have been checking him out. He was a good distance away from me so he got to the door before I had. He opened it, looked behind him, saw me and held the door. I in turn walked as quickly as my short  legs would carry me.

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I finally caught up, smiled brightly and said thanks to which he replied, “You’re welcome ma’am.”

I was nonplussed(GRE word!!!). A bunch of thoughts crossed my mind: Did he call me ma’am? Isn’t that what you call old people? Do I really look that old?

I spent more time than I’d like to admit turning the situation over in my mind. Overthinking has a way of sending us on a tangent; boy did I go on a tangent. Somehow I ended up at: “See, this is why people say chivalry is dead.”  Moments before I may or may not have been checking this young man out. He, out of respect, called me ma’am and I spent the next ten minutes deriding (can you tell I’ve been studying?) the poor fellow for calling me an old woman.

It used to be a thing that a man would walk up to a woman he was interested in and be all suave and two years later, they’d be married. Nowadays, men are less willing to approach females because we often find a way to be offended by something that was said with good intent. Please note, I said “men”. I am not trying to make excuses for the little boys who don’t know how to talk to a lady.

This encounter still has me questioning life but the next time someone calls me ma’am, I’ll be prepared!

What d you think? Is Chivalry dead? Or more importantly, did we kill chivalry?

#KultureShocked

 

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The Relationship Struggle

The running joke of this week is that it is bizarre that myself and neither of my two older cousins are in a relationship. My aunt went as far as to say she’s getting us all gift cards for eHarmony for Christmas. Does eHarmony even have gift cards? I think my aunt was only 20% joking though…. maybe even less.

She’s even gotten my mom in on the conversation. On our weekly call the topic came up and mommy said she told my aunt it was their fault as parents for making us too comfortable. She has a point. I consider myself a happy person. I’m hopelessly optimistic. I’m not always happy, sometimes I overthink myself into a bout of sadness, particularly around that time of the month. Who doesn’t? I have a great support team who I can go to if there is something that bothers me. Most importantly, they aren’t afraid to tell me to get over myself. I am in no way shape or form short of love.

Consequently, I feel no push to go looking for love elsewhere. I’ve never had a boyfriend but I don’t really think I’m missing out on much other than heartache. Granted there is this growing curiosity to see if I’d make a good girlfriend or what the whole experience would be like. This curiosity isn’t strong enough for me to lower my standards and jump on the first smooth talking man to come my way.

I don’t think my standards are that high to begin with. My list of requirements isn’t really that long and they are by no means unattainable. My standards can be grouped in two subcategories: the must-haves and the if-he-doesn’t-have-it-then- it’s-fine-but-it-would-be-cool-if-he-did. My two must-haves are that he be someone who respects me and someone who will pick my brain. The would-be-cool requirements are:

  1. Hairy musician- Don’t judge me okay; I like a guy with hair. Beard, ponytail, locs- I’m not partial and musicians are just cool people in general. Most of my friends are hairy musicians so that might have something to do with it. This may just be a phase but come on, have you seen Bob Marley? I feel like if he is a musician, he’ll understand the role music plays in my life.
  2. Tall- I stand at 5’4″, it’s not very hard to be taller than me
  3. Doesn’t take life too seriously- I’m pretty easy going and I like being spontaneous. I’d like to have someone who compliments that. Then again I think he could learn to do this by association.

See, all very attainable! Not very hard. So until he comes my way, I’m going to sit back, relax and enjoy my cup of tea. No eHarmony gift card required. Seriously though, do they offer gift cards? Leave the answer or even your thoughts in the comments below! I’d love to know what you think!

#KultureShocked

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People are mean

I sat at work today listening to my co-worker rant with some other employee over the phone about how the student worker would not leave her alone . She talked about how the student worker made a mountain of a molehill. I recalled the encounter that happened just minutes before and saw nothing wrong with what the student worker did. The student was just following protocol and asking questions to cover her ass. The young lady had no attitude and seemed a little timid.

Being a student worker myself, I wondered how many people had similar discussions after I left their offices. My thoughts soon trailed to wondering why some people were so mean. I couldn’t find an answer besides people are mean because they are. We’re mean to get laughs, to feel better about ourselves or because someone was mean to us so we feel the need to be mean to someone weaker than ourselves to get back at the world. How far is too far?

Times are changing. People are becoming more opportunistic and individualistic. It only makes sense that people are getting meaner. Then we wonder why crime levels  or the number of school shootings are increasing. Who am I to say? Maybe they aren’t related at all. Maybe people aren’t mean at all and I’m being too thin skinned. If that is the case, I’m genuinely worried about the future.

#KultureShocked

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It’s a learning process

This is by far my busiest semester yet. I don’t feel as though I’ve bitten off more than I can chew but I have always been a slow eater (both literally and figuratively :p) ). I’ve certainly learnt to manage my time well particularly through forward thinking. I used to live from day to day rolling with the waves as they came but that wouldn’t work this year. Not at all. I’d be crushed by the waves before I knew what hit me. Now I look ahead and my mind is always racing with ideas. In other words, I’ve learnt to tread water and friends and family have become by support system when my arms and legs are weary or my cheerleaders when I feel like surrendering to the rough waters.

Anywho, the whole reason I started this post was not to say how busy I am. I’ve been overthinking, underthinking and maybe even a little stressed these last few weeks. I’ve experienced an array of emotions and feel myself slowly losing my handle on things.  Today I sat at work mentally and physically exhausted. I had nothing to think about or plan and I felt out of place. I realised I’d gotten so used to the noise in my head that when, for once there was silence, I missed the roar of the ocean. I don’t think that’s healthy. Then I thought,  if only I had a creative avenue to express my thoughts or rant about my concerns without feeling judged… Hmmm. I came to the conclusion that I need to get the thoughts out of my head. Essentially, I need to blog before I drive myself mad.

#Kultureshocked