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5 Ways to Steal My Heart

Here are five ways to steal my heart.

1) Challenge me. I like someone who can pick my brain and prove me wrong. A mini pet peeve of mine is when someone lets me win. I am unnecessarily competitive and I think that someone who challenges me is helping me to become better at whatever task is at hand.

2) Understand me. I am an only child. I grew up learning how to entertain myself and I’ve learned to appreciate alone time as a result. I love going out with friends, but sometimes all I want to do is stay in a room by myself and do whatever I want.

3) Feed me. I’m not joking. Give me food, and I’ll love you forever.

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4) Cuddle with me. I wouldn’t say I’m a touchy feely person but I do fancy random hugs. I don’t mean those awkward side hugs; I like the close, warm, I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever hugs

5) Talk to me. I love deep conversations. We could be talking about the colour of the sky or who invented the television, whatever it is, simple or complex I love thought provoking conversations.

As you can see, I’m really not that hard to woo, I promise.

#KultureShocked

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Use Your Words

I’m finding in my old age (says the 21 year old) that I’m becoming increasingly better at holding conversations. A great conversation skill is being able to state your point, defend it, acknowledge that people have different opinions and respect opposing opinions.

I like a good debate. It keeps me on my toes and provides great mental exercise.
Picture for a moment a game of tennis. It would be a boring if your opponent refused to serve the ball because they didn’t feel like playing. Imagine them purposefully wacking the ball into the net to cut the game short. What if they deliberately hit the ball outside of the lines so you win?

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Annoyed? Well, it’s the same way with a conversation. Stop changing the topic by saying you don’t want to argue. Don’t stop in the middle or agree with the other person just because you want the conversation to end. A disagreement is not an argument. How is your conversation partner supposed to know what you’re thinking if you keep quiet?

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One of the things wrong with the world is that we don’t say what we want to say for the  sake of peace and sanity. What we don’t realise is that when we bottle these things up they slowly eat away at us and that is what we should be avoiding .

I’ll leave you with these words of wisdom, Always say what’s on your mind, and don’t beat around the bush #StopBushAbuse2017.

#KultureShocked

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He Called Me Ma’am

It’s been too long! I’m taking the GRE tomorrow and figured I shouldn’t do anything too work intensive the night before. Heaven knows I’ve missed writing. It’s not as though I didn’t have anything to write about. I just never had the time. I keep trying to tell myself that there are 24 hours in day; no more and no less. So if I want to do something, I’m going to have to fit it in somehow. At any rate that is not what this post is meant to be about….


 

Today I was walking behind a young man and I may or may not have been checking him out. He was a good distance away from me so he got to the door before I had. He opened it, looked behind him, saw me and held the door. I in turn walked as quickly as my short  legs would carry me.

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I finally caught up, smiled brightly and said thanks to which he replied, “You’re welcome ma’am.”

I was nonplussed(GRE word!!!). A bunch of thoughts crossed my mind: Did he call me ma’am? Isn’t that what you call old people? Do I really look that old?

I spent more time than I’d like to admit turning the situation over in my mind. Overthinking has a way of sending us on a tangent; boy did I go on a tangent. Somehow I ended up at: “See, this is why people say chivalry is dead.”  Moments before I may or may not have been checking this young man out. He, out of respect, called me ma’am and I spent the next ten minutes deriding (can you tell I’ve been studying?) the poor fellow for calling me an old woman.

It used to be a thing that a man would walk up to a woman he was interested in and be all suave and two years later, they’d be married. Nowadays, men are less willing to approach females because we often find a way to be offended by something that was said with good intent. Please note, I said “men”. I am not trying to make excuses for the little boys who don’t know how to talk to a lady.

This encounter still has me questioning life but the next time someone calls me ma’am, I’ll be prepared!

What d you think? Is Chivalry dead? Or more importantly, did we kill chivalry?

#KultureShocked

 

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Tequila, Condoms and the King Cup

This is the time of my youth and I plan to live it up to the fullest. Everyday, I give thanks to the universe for giving me the greatest friends ever to accompany on this convoluted journey called life. It is with great pain that I tell them ‘goodbye’ at the end of winter and summer breaks but whenever I leave Jamaica, it is always with a heart and mind filled with memories of our stupid adventures. And so our story begins…

Like all good stories, this one begins with way too much alcohol. There were about 11 of us seated in the living room of C’s house. We formed a circle around a circle of cards laid face down with a rather large cup forming the bull’s eye. King Cup was the name of the game and the objective was to get everyone a little more than tipsy. The rules are simple. We go around the circle in a systematic order and each person flips a card. Each card required the group or individuals to complete a task. For instance for seven, you stretch your hands to the heavens and the last one to complete the task has to take a sip of their drink. Why is there a big cup in the center of the circle? Well, everytime a King is flipped, every player has to pour some of their drink into the King Cup. When the last King is flipped, some sad soul has to down the contents of the cup!

Before I continue the story, I must point out some key elements.

  1.  We were in the safety of my friend’s house
  2. We ate lots of pizza before the games began
  3. We are a close knit group despite our large number
  4. We’ve known each other for at least 5 years
  5. We are all of drinking age
  6. We all had to put our phones away so the whole world wouldn’t know our activities #StopDrunkTexting2015
  7. H wasn’t drinking since he had to drive home
  8. Her parents were tucked away in their room should an emergency arise

The point I’m trying to get across is we drink responsibly. Back to the story!

Well, 52 cards later we were all… in a state. Poor D had gotten the King Cup and she drank it like a champion. One thing led to another and N whipped out a condom and threw it at a couple in the corner. Well, I’m sure they were the target but his aim wasn’t the best at the moment. We all laughed and started jamming out to a playlist of Reggae, Dancehall and Soca. It was some point after this that H had to leave so we hugged and said our goodbyes.

The dancing, sweating and drinking water helped us sober up a bit. We talked about life and planned our next outing and somehow the topic of condoms arose. The condom!!! It was like everyone remembered N threw the condom at exactly the same instance but no one could remember where he threw it or where it landed or most importantly where it was at that very moment.

Imagine 10 more-than-tipsy-but-less-than-drunk people searching for one condom in a living room. It was like the bloody thing grew legs and walked away. We concluded that since we couldn’t find the condom… maybe her parents wouldn’t either. Sound reasoning right? Don’t judge we were under the affluence of incahol. We then went to bed knocked out at around 5am.

In the morning – well later in the morning when we woke up- we were sober enough to be reunited with our phones. We had all received a message from H saying:

“I’m home and btw, I have the condom”

Definitely a story for the grandkids….on second thought maybe not.

#KultureShocked

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The Relationship Struggle

The running joke of this week is that it is bizarre that myself and neither of my two older cousins are in a relationship. My aunt went as far as to say she’s getting us all gift cards for eHarmony for Christmas. Does eHarmony even have gift cards? I think my aunt was only 20% joking though…. maybe even less.

She’s even gotten my mom in on the conversation. On our weekly call the topic came up and mommy said she told my aunt it was their fault as parents for making us too comfortable. She has a point. I consider myself a happy person. I’m hopelessly optimistic. I’m not always happy, sometimes I overthink myself into a bout of sadness, particularly around that time of the month. Who doesn’t? I have a great support team who I can go to if there is something that bothers me. Most importantly, they aren’t afraid to tell me to get over myself. I am in no way shape or form short of love.

Consequently, I feel no push to go looking for love elsewhere. I’ve never had a boyfriend but I don’t really think I’m missing out on much other than heartache. Granted there is this growing curiosity to see if I’d make a good girlfriend or what the whole experience would be like. This curiosity isn’t strong enough for me to lower my standards and jump on the first smooth talking man to come my way.

I don’t think my standards are that high to begin with. My list of requirements isn’t really that long and they are by no means unattainable. My standards can be grouped in two subcategories: the must-haves and the if-he-doesn’t-have-it-then- it’s-fine-but-it-would-be-cool-if-he-did. My two must-haves are that he be someone who respects me and someone who will pick my brain. The would-be-cool requirements are:

  1. Hairy musician- Don’t judge me okay; I like a guy with hair. Beard, ponytail, locs- I’m not partial and musicians are just cool people in general. Most of my friends are hairy musicians so that might have something to do with it. This may just be a phase but come on, have you seen Bob Marley? I feel like if he is a musician, he’ll understand the role music plays in my life.
  2. Tall- I stand at 5’4″, it’s not very hard to be taller than me
  3. Doesn’t take life too seriously- I’m pretty easy going and I like being spontaneous. I’d like to have someone who compliments that. Then again I think he could learn to do this by association.

See, all very attainable! Not very hard. So until he comes my way, I’m going to sit back, relax and enjoy my cup of tea. No eHarmony gift card required. Seriously though, do they offer gift cards? Leave the answer or even your thoughts in the comments below! I’d love to know what you think!

#KultureShocked

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The Thing About Boys

I have finally accepted the fact that I just don’t have any luck with men. I know what you’re saying: “You’re just nineteen you don’t know what you’re talking about”. Maybe you’re right but I’m waiting for a guy that will be different. This is the typical flow of the conversations I have with my friend Shida (876LoveR) after being approached by or approaching a new guy. I know for a fact that I’m incredibly picky so I thought maybe that was my problem but Shida has some of the same problems I have! Is it that we’re friends because of our taste in guys or is it our standards or are all guys the same? So we decided to do this feature blog thing to rant and see if anyone feels the same way or is completely against our way of thinking. You can see her post here. Let’s begin shall we?

First Impressions Last

Something as little as the way a guy approaches me can be the biggest turn off. If I’ve never seen you before and you randomly send me a friend request on Facebook and I magically accept it why would you start the conversation with “Hey Bbz” ??? I am sorry but I am not your babe. Like I said I’m picky but seriously I don’t feel respected if the first thing he calls me is ‘Bbz’. For starters the least you could do is spell out babes, not that it makes it any better but it would show some effort. I’m also a little old school so I feel terms or endearment are earned but that’s just me.

No means No

So I’ve accepted your friend request on Facebook where I’ve posted pictures of myself for the past six or so years. I have the good the bad and the ugly (puberty was kind) right there just a few clicks away. Why then would you ask me to send you a picture? What do you mean by ‘Can you send me a sexy pic’? I just met you so why would you ask me to send you nudes? When I say no why are you asking me questions? No means NO. Not only do I find your questions ridiculous and annoying but your killing my interest in you with every question you ask. (Sidenote: does the fact that guys ask this mean that there are girls out there who say yes instantly?)

Pet Peeve

I think this is just a Lexxi thing but I think this is the most cliched line in the history of cliched lines and it really makes me grind my teeth. I’ll be talking to a guy and things are going well and I’m really liking his vibe but more often than not they drop this line and I’m just like NOOOOOOOO (arms dramatically outstretched). The line exists in multiple forms and is supposed to be a subtle way of checking if your single and I have no clue why I hate it so much but I do. Some examples are: ” What does your boyfriend think about you talking to me?” or “How is your boyfriend?” or “Your boyfriend is so lucky”. I really don’t mind if you just say; “hey, do you have a boyfriend?”

 

The Availability Issue

I’m not too sure if it’s a Jamaican man thing or if it’s universal but it’s like when you’re single the world and his wife would like to get into your knickers but the day you become available the boys that were climbing out of your mango tree are nowhere to be found.

Like I said though I’m very choosy so it’s probably just me. In other words I’ll probably be single until someone invents a build a boyfriend. Feel free to leave your comments below! 🙂

#KultureShocked