Who are you to make me feel this way?
So caught up on all of the things that you say.
With your sweet lies
Playing the fool to catch the wise.
But are you playing?
I’m just saying, because you must be pretty dumb,
To just come,
And mess up everything I had right.
maybe it’s me?
As far as I can see
I didn’t put up enough boundaries.
Didn’t fight with all my might.
How could I?
I didn’t stand a chance
What do you want from me?
Can you be trusted?
My brain and heart are conflicted.
If the heart listened to the brain
There would be love without pain
And if the heart had its way
It would have lots to say,
on all of the reasons not to let you stray.
Here are five ways to steal my heart.
1) Challenge me. I like someone who can pick my brain and prove me wrong. A mini pet peeve of mine is when someone lets me win. I am unnecessarily competitive and I think that someone who challenges me is helping me to become better at whatever task is at hand.
2) Understand me. I am an only child. I grew up learning how to entertain myself and I’ve learned to appreciate alone time as a result. I love going out with friends, but sometimes all I want to do is stay in a room by myself and do whatever I want.
3) Feed me. I’m not joking. Give me food, and I’ll love you forever.
4) Cuddle with me. I wouldn’t say I’m a touchy feely person but I do fancy random hugs. I don’t mean those awkward side hugs; I like the close, warm, I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever hugs
5) Talk to me. I love deep conversations. We could be talking about the colour of the sky or who invented the television, whatever it is, simple or complex I love thought provoking conversations.
As you can see, I’m really not that hard to woo, I promise.
This is by far my busiest semester yet. I don’t feel as though I’ve bitten off more than I can chew but I have always been a slow eater (both literally and figuratively :p) ). I’ve certainly learnt to manage my time well particularly through forward thinking. I used to live from day to day rolling with the waves as they came but that wouldn’t work this year. Not at all. I’d be crushed by the waves before I knew what hit me. Now I look ahead and my mind is always racing with ideas. In other words, I’ve learnt to tread water and friends and family have become by support system when my arms and legs are weary or my cheerleaders when I feel like surrendering to the rough waters.
Anywho, the whole reason I started this post was not to say how busy I am. I’ve been overthinking, underthinking and maybe even a little stressed these last few weeks. I’ve experienced an array of emotions and feel myself slowly losing my handle on things. Today I sat at work mentally and physically exhausted. I had nothing to think about or plan and I felt out of place. I realised I’d gotten so used to the noise in my head that when, for once there was silence, I missed the roar of the ocean. I don’t think that’s healthy. Then I thought, if only I had a creative avenue to express my thoughts or rant about my concerns without feeling judged… Hmmm. I came to the conclusion that I need to get the thoughts out of my head. Essentially, I need to blog before I drive myself mad.